Wednesday, April 27, 2011

To Forgive or Not To Forgive...


Today I don't want to forgive.  The hurt is too deep; the pain is so acute.  According to justice, the person who hurt me doesn't deserve my forgiveness.

I have heard that I should only forgive my transgressor if he/she meets certain qualifications that determine that he/she is worthy, such as remorse, responsibility and reparation.  If I forgive, without these "signs" being displayed, it seems that I am just setting myself up to be hurt again.  I am making myself weaker, right?

In choosing not to forgive, I, however, am doing something wrong too.  I am allowing bitterness to swell up inside me and take root there. I am adding personal internal misery to my pain.  I am dying twice: once from the hurt, secondly, by keeping a tight grip on this hurt.

In debating whether or not to release my just anger and let go of the only control I have over this person, I have become certain in what the right thing to do is.

It's not about whether this person deserves it.

It's about what not forgiving is doing to me. By holding on to what I think is a most grievous injustice, I am keeping the hurtful past in my head and heart; the pain is in my present and in all my projected tomorrows.  Not forgiving also prevents me from thinking charitably towards this person, and thus, affects some of my behavior.

Forgiving is not the same thing as reconciling.  Forgiveness is one sided; whereas, reconciliation involves both parties doing the right thing.  In forgiving, I am doing the right thing.  I am letting go of my victim-hood/anger/hate.  This does not mean things have become rectified; my offender will still have to show remorse and responsibility in order for a healthy reconciliation to happen.  Nevertheless in forgiving, in letting go of the desire to punish,  I am opening my heart - as hard as it is-  so that the opportunity is there for reconciliation. 

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"Father forgive them; for they know not what they do." - Luke 23:34

"Then Peter came up to Him, "Lord how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." -Matt 18:21 

"And in his anger his lord delivered him to the jailers, till he should pay all his debt. So also My heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart." -Matt 18:34-35

"Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."- The Our Father 
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Audio talks on forgiving: Fr. John Riccardo 

Music Video on forgiving: Matt West: Forgiveness Chris August: 7 x 70

I'm a Little Stressed Right Now...

 

There are some days where I feel perpetually stressed and anxious.  In fact, on these days I bet my insides look worse than the guy with the coffee. :-) 

My goal is to do at least one relaxing activity a day until I have formed the habit of serenity; I want my default mode to be one of joy.  I no longer want little things to disturb my being and throw off my day.  I want to live such that I reflect St. Teresa of Avila's maxim:  Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you...

Here is a list of simple things that I found helpful in calming the body down: 

Watch a sunset Go to the beach Be positive
Sing a song Pet a cat Tell a joke
Listen to music Be silent Take a nap
Talk to a friend Take a walk Go barefoot
Have a cup of tea Count your blessings Smile
Take a break Do it now! Stretch
Write Hum a tune Practice patience
Get up early Exercise Say a prayer
Forgive that person Prioritize Give a hug
Throw/kick a ball Play with a child See an inspiring movie
Practice Kindness Say "No" Set Limits
Eat a snack Read a book Give a blessing
Light a candle Laugh out loud Do a puzzle
Give a gift Draw/pastel Give a compliment
Take a bubble bath Avoid negative people Take a deep breath
Ask for what you need Go to bed on time Organize






These prayers have been very healing for me as well:

Simple Prayer by Fr. Swamy Ch. Balashowry:

Come Lord Jesus, come into my life, bless me, help me, heal me.

Anima Christi
Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from the side of Christ, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; within your wounds, hide me; let me never be separated from you; from the evil one, protect me; at the hour of my death, call me; and bid me to come to you; that with your saints, I may praise you forever and ever. Amen.


Prayer for Inner Healing 
Dear Lord Jesus, please come and heal my wounded and troubled heart. I beg you to heal the torments that are causing anxiety in my life. I beg you, in a particular way, to heal the underlying source of my sinfulness. I beg you to come into my life and heal the psychological harms that struck me in my childhood and from the injuries they have caused throughout my life.

Lord Jesus, you know my burdens. I lay them on your Good Shepherd’s Heart. I beseech you—by the merits of the great open wound in your heart—to heal the small wounds that are in mine. Heal my memories, so that nothing that has happened to me will cause me to remain in pain and anguish, filled with anxiety.

Heal, O Lord, all those wounds that have been the cause of evil that is rooted in my life. I want to forgive all those who have offended me. Look to those inner sores that make me unable to forgive. You who came to forgive the afflicted of heart, please, heal my wounded and troubled heart.

Heal, O Lord Jesus, all those intimate wounds that are the root cause of my 
physical illness. I offer you my heart. Accept it, Lord, purify it and give me the sentiments of your Divine Heart.

Heal me, O Lord, from the pain caused by the death of my loved ones. Grant me to regain peace and joy in the knowledge that you are the Resurrection and the Life. Make me an authentic witness to your resurrection, your victory over sin and death, and your loving presence among all men. Amen.

Healing the Family Tree 
Heavenly Father, I come before you as your child, in great need of your help; I have physical health needs, emotional needs, spiritual needs and interpersonal needs. Many of my problems have been caused by my own failures, neglect and sinfulness, for which I humbly beg your forgiveness, Lord. But I also ask you to forgive the sins of my ancestors whose failures have left their effects on me in the form of unwanted tendencies, behavior patterns, and defects in body, mind and spirit. Heal me, Lord, of all these disorders.

With your help I sincerely forgive everyone, living or dead members of my family tree, who have directly offended me or my loved ones in any way, or those whose sins have resulted in our present sufferings and disorders. In the name of your divine Son Jesus, and in the power of his Holy Spirit, I ask you Father, to deliver me and my entire family tree from the influence of the evil one.

Free all living and dead members of my family tree, including those in adoptive relationships, and those in extended family relationships, from every contaminating form of bondage. By your loving concern for us, heavenly Father, and by the shed blood of your precious Son Jesus, I beg you to extend your blessing to me and all my living and deceased relatives. Heal every negative effect transmitted through all past generations, and prevent such negative effects in future generations of my family tree.

I symbolically place the cross of Jesus over the head of each person in my family tree, and between each generation; I ask you to let the cleansing blood of Jesus purify the bloodlines in my family lineage. Send protective angels to encamp around us and administer your divine healing power to all of us, even in areas of genetic disability. Give special power to our family members’ guardian angels to heal, protect, guide and encourage each of us in all our needs. Let your healing power be released at this very moment, and let it continue as long as your sovereignty permits.

In our family tree, Lord, replace all bondage with a holy bonding of family love. And let there be an ever-deeper bonding with you, Lord, by the Holy Spirit, to your Son Jesus. Let the family of the Holy Trinity pervade our family with its tender, warm, loving presence, so that our family may recognize and manifest that love in all our relationships. All of our unknown needs we include with this petition that we pray in Jesus’ precious name. Amen.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

When Values Remain Intact...

"Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value."
– Albert Einstein

"What you are will show in what you do."
– Thomas A. Edison

Many people have beautiful ideals. However, I believe that most people only hold on to their values until they are pressured. When situations get difficult, many (including myself) find a handy excuse to opt out on what was held to be good, true, and beautiful, for fear of pain, rejection, inconvenience and death.  Below is a list of those who didn't surrender their values but fought for them at a great expense.

Modern Day:

Saints and Heroes From the Past: 
Maccabees - See 1st & 2nd Maccabees in the Bible
Saint Stories:   http://saints.sqpn.com

Monday, April 25, 2011

My Favorite Links

Here are some links that inspire me to stay positive and are also a source of healing:

Health: Rebel Grain


Mass Requests: Seraphic Mass Association

Media: Catholic Answers
             Lighthouse Catholic Media

Music: KLOVE

PoliticsCatholic Scoreboard
             Stop Human Health and Services Mandate 

Prayers: Consecration of Marriage1 or Consecration2
               Healing Memories
               Marriage Prayers
               Novenas
               Spiritual Warfare
               Traditional Prayers 

Prayer Requests:
             Archdiocese of St. Louis                        
             Adoration Sisters
             Carmelite Sisters 
             Rosary
             St. Anthony
            
Patron Saints:   http://saints.sqpn.com

Rosaries: http://www.rosarymart.com

Spiritual Warfare: http://catholicwarfare.com/

Theology: 
            EWTN: Global Catholic Network
            St. Thomas Aquinas: Summa Theologica
                  
Talk Radio: Ave Maria
                     EWTN
         
         My favorite speakers are:
         Al  Kresta - Kresta In the Afternoon (Politics/Church)
         Patrick Madrid - Catholic Answers (Catholic Dogma & Traditions)
         Barbara McGuigan - The Good Fight (Christian Living)
         Greg and Lisa Popcak - Heart Mind and Strength (Family Life)
         Fr. John Riccardo - Christ is the Answer (Christian Living)

Youtube:
 Chaplet of Divine Mercy:
                          
  
Sacred Heart Novena: 

                          

Stations of the Cross:
                          

Purgatory Prayer:
                        

Peace in my soul

Peace begins with a smile.  
-Mother Teresa

 Sometimes, there is only enough energy to do something simple. This is my goal today: to smile. 

May the peace of the Lord be with you today. :-)

Pass on a smile to someone else!
     

Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Resurrection - A Reason to Overcome Suffering

Today is the most glorious feast of the Resurrection.
    
"I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will tell of all thy wonderful deeds. 
I will be glad and exult in thee, I will sing praise to thy name, O Most High." 
- Psalms 9:1-2

Of all of Our Lord's deeds, His Resurrection is His most glorious.  However, His Resurrection only could come after the intense suffering that afflicted all of our Lord's body, senses, emotions and being. There was not one part of Him that did not suffer.

"In His head He suffered from the crown of piercing thorns; 
in His hands and feet, from the fastening of the nails; 
on His face from the blows and spittle; and from the lashes over His entire body. 
Moreover, He suffered in all His bodily senses:
 in touch, by being scourged and nailed;
 in taste, by being given vinegar and gall to drink; 
in smell, by being fastened to the gibbet in a place reeking with the stench of corpses, 
"which is called Calvary"; 
in hearing, by being tormented with the cries of blasphemers and scorners;
 in sight, by beholding the tears of His Mother and of the disciple whom He loved." 
- Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theolgica

He also suffered from abandonment, betrayal, false accusations, sadness, weariness, humiliation and fear.  Generally speaking He endured every suffering that we can experience.  He chose to go through the pain we are experiencing in order to not only redeem us, but to also show us how to deal with suffering. Good can come out of every wound and hurt, if we just give our sufferings to Him.  One day in God's timing, we will be relieved of this suffering; we will understand why it was necessary.  

"Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, 
and fill up on my part that which is lacking of the afflictions of Christ 
in my flesh for his body's sake, which is the church
- Colossians 1:24

The Resurrection is the manifestation that good things will come.  Consequently, we must look to Him in all things and endure our sufferings with a thankful heart. "Not my will, but Thy Will".
 
"And He said to all, "If any man would come after me, 
let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 
For whoever would save his life will lose it; 
and whoever loses his life for my sake, he will save it." 
- Luke 9:23-24  

Purpose of this blog

Every day we suffer. Every day we encounter difficult obstacles or people that frustrate us. 

For myself, I know that sometimes the bumps of life can be overwhelming. 

This blog is a way for me to maintain hope, and for living a fulfilled, joyful and holy life.  My goal is to turn all suffering (even minor ones) into blessings.  How can I do this?  By giving every moment to God, whether good or bad. We will be held accountable on our particular judgement day for all that we have done and even for what we failed to do.  Consequently, we must do everything (even breathe) for the glory of God. 

While this blog is intended to keep me on track, I hope that it is also used as a source of joy for you too.  I want to use all my moments for good. 

I hope to include things that personally inspire me to make a difference in my life.  I also will include my reflections on important events/principles in my life as they happen.

I pray that God may bless you and keep you strong in the journey that lies ahead. May we bless His Holy Name in all situations.

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I can do all these things in him who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13

Then Job arose, and rent his robe, and shaved his head, and fell upon the ground, and worshiped. And he said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return; the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong. - Job 1:20-22
Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you. All things are passing. God never changes.  Patient endurance attains all things... Whoever possesses God lacks nothing, God alone is sufficient. -St. Teresa of Avila