Interesting 1950's Tips

I stumbled upon some old 1950's films. While some of them are corny, the underlying theme among them is personal moral responsibility-- a quality that I find lacking in the movies/clips made for the youth today.


Dating Advice For Women:



Improve Your Personality:


Facing Reality:

Family Portrait - Pink

Blessed Are the Married

What a wonderful ministry! Check out:

THE YEAR OF MARRIAGE  

http://www.crookston.org/yom/

Why Marriage Isn't For Me Or You - John Goerke

What a great article!

http://juicyecumenism.com/2013/11/13/marriage-isnt-for-me-or-you/

Restore - Chris August

Eight Cow Wife

I thought that this video (though old) is a good illustration how the value put on a person greatly affects the way he/she values his/herself; it shows how to bring out the best or the worst in a person. 

It is possible to change someone's life simply by changing your attitude in how you think about, talk about, and interact with him/her.

"Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa for all the times, I helped devalue any individual through immaturity, selfishness, pride, anger, and jealousy."   

Ways to devalue someone:

• Gossip & Slander
• Mock
• Ignore
• Belittle & Accuse
• Lying to
• Infidelity 
• Betrayal
• Abandon
• Abort

Ways to value someone:

• Encourage
• Fidelity
• Respond 
• Listen
• Support
• Show up
• Be Generous 
• Respect
• Serve

LUST vs CHASTITY Day 6

Introduction to the Devote Life
By St. Francis De Sales
Book 3, Chapter 12:
OF THE NECESSITY OF CHASTITY

Chastity is the lily of all virtues, and makes men almost equal to angels. Nothing is beautiful but by purity, and the purity of men is chastity.  Chastity is called honorableness, and the profession thereof of honor; it is named integrity, and is opposite to corruption -- in short, it has is glory apart in that it is the beautiful and white virtue of the soul and of the body.

It is never lawful to derive any carnal gratification from our bodies in any manner whatsoever, except in lawful marriage, and sanctity  of which is able, by a just compensation, to repair the loss which is received in  the delectation. And even in marriage we must observe honesty of intention, so that, if there be anything unseemly in the pleasure that is taken, there may be nothing but honesty in the will which takes it.

The chaste heart is like the mother pearl which can receive  no drop of water but such as comes from heaven, for it can  receive no pleasure but that of which marriage is ordained by Heaven; beyond this it is not permitted to think of it with a thought which is voluptuous, voluntary and deliberately entertained.

For the first degree of virtue, take care, Philothea, not to admit any sort of carnal gratification that is prohibited and forbidden, as are all those which are taken out of marriage, or even in marriage when they are taken against the rule of marriage. For the second, refrain yourself as far as possible from useless and superfluous delectations, though they be lawful and permissible. For the third do not set your affections on those pleasures and gratifications which are commanded and ordained; for though we must practice certain necessary delectations -- that is to say, those which concern the end and institution of holy marriage -- yet we must never set our heart and mind on them.

For the rest everyone has great need of this virtue. Those that are in the state of widowhood must have a courageous  chastity, which not only despises present and future objects, but which resists the imagination of former pleasures lawfully received in marriage can stir up in their souls, which for that reason are more prone to feel the force of fleshly allurements. For this cause, St. Augustine admires the purity of his dear Alipius, who had wholly forgotten and despised the pleasures of the flesh, of which he had sometimes tasted in his youth. And in truth, so long as the fruits are undamaged they may be preserved, some in straw, some in sand, and some in their own leaves; but once they are bruised, it is almost impossible to keep them but with honey and sugar in conserves: in like manner chastity which never has been wounded or violated can be kept in many ways, but when it has once been impaired, nothing can conserve it but an excellent devotion, which as I have often said, is the true spiritual honey and sugar.

Virgins have need of an extremely simple and delicate chastity, in order to banish from their hearts all kinds of curious thoughts, and to despise with an absolute contempt all kinds of unclean pleasure, which indeed do not deserve to be desired by man, since asses and swine have more aptitude for them than human beings. Let these pure souls, therefore, be careful to never doubt that chastity is incomparably better than all that is incompatible with it; for, as the great St. Jerome says, the enemy strongly tempts virgins to the desire of tasting these pleasures, representing them to them as infinitely more pleasant and delightful than they are; and this troubles them very much, because, as the holy Father says, "they esteem that more sweet of which they know nothing."

For, as the little moth seeing the flame flutters about it, being curious to try if it be sweet as it is beautiful in appearance, and carried away by this fancy ceases not till it is lost at the first trial; so young persons very often allow themselves to be so much swayed by the false and foolish estimation which they have formed of the pleasure of the ardours of passion, that after indulging their curiosity in many thoughts, they finally plunge into ruin and destruction; being more foolish in this than the moths, which have some reason to think that the fire is delicious since it is so beautiful, whereas they, knowing that which they seek is extremely shameful, cease not for all that to overestimate the senseless and brutish pleasure thereof.

But as for those who are married, it is most true, though people do not commonly this so, chastity is very necessary for them, because in their case it does not consist in abstaining altogether from carnal pleasures, but in exercising self-control in the midst of them. Now, since the commandment, "Be angry and not sin" is, in my opinion, more difficult than this: "Be not angry at all" and because it is easier to refrain altogether from carnal pleasures than to observe moderation in them. It is true that the holy liberty of marriage has a special power to allay the ardour of concupiscence, but the frailty of those who enjoy it passes easily from permission to dissoluteness, and from use to abuse. And as we see many rich persons steal, not from poverty, but from avarice, so also we see many married people give way to excess through lack of restraint and wantonness, notwithstanding the lawful object, to which they ought and should be able to confine themselves; their concupiscence being like an unsteady flame, which goes burning lightly here and there without settling down anywhere. It is always dangerous to take strong remedies, because if we take more than we should, of if they be not well prepared, we receive much harm from them; marriage has been blessed and ordained in part as a remedy against concupiscence, and it is without doubt a very good remedy, but a strong one none the less, and in consequence very dangerous, if it be not discreetly used.

I add that, besides long illnesses, human affairs of various kinds often separate husbands from their wives, and therefore married persons have need of two sorts of chastity; the one for entire continence when they are separated from one another on such occasions as I have mentioned above; the other, for moderation when they are living together in the ordinary course. Indeed, St. Catherine of Siena saw amongst the damned many souls in great torment for having violated the sanctity of marriage, which happened she said, not because of the enormity of sin, for murders and blasphemies are more grievous, but "because those who commit it do not make it a matter of conscience," and consequently continue for a long time in it.

You see, then, that chastity is necessary for all kinds of persons. "Follow peace with all men", says the Apostle, "and holiness without which no man shall see God." Now the holiness which he means is chastity, as St. Jerome and St. Chrysostom have remarked. No, Philothea, no one will see God without chastity, no one "will dwell in his holy tabernacle" who is not "clean of heart"; as the Savior Himself says, "the dogs and the unchaste shall be banished from it" and "blessed are the clean of heart for they shall see God."  

LUST vs CHASTITY - Day 5

Is chastity a negative or positive mindset? Many individuals think chastity is a stuffy and prudish word. It is a turn off, especially, the way that most people talk about it. For me it is easy to talk about lust, because everyone can understand what that is, what it looks like, what it feels like. But chastity is a concept more foreign to our society and often presented as something left to be desired. I stumbled upon an article which I believes gives a more positive outlook on the virtue, we, as individuals and a culture, so desperately need. Below are snippets of the article: (click here for the full discussion http://www.catholicculture.com/past_discussions/june28_july12_01.html)

Tonight’s discussion addressed the last section of Chapter Three called “The True Meaning of Chastity,” pages 166-173. Peter introduced this important section by saying that he found it to capture, in a certain sense, the essence of the book, and in fact the essence of the Pope. He focused our attention on the bottom of page 171, where Wojtyla writes, “The connection between chastity and love results from the personalistic norm, which — as we said in Chapter One — has a dual content: a positive content (‘thou shalt love!’) and a negative content (‘thou shalt not use!’).” Many people put inordinate weight on the negative, and think of chastity in a negative sense, while John Paul, said Peter, puts it first in the positive context of thou shalt love. Alberto concurred, adding that one of the most attractive qualities of John Paul II is that he is so positive, and this clearly requires more intellectual effort and understanding than merely prohibiting this or that action. Wojtyla explains that people are unwilling to acknowledge the enormous value of chastity to human love because they reject the full objective truth about the love of man and woman, and “put a subjective fiction in its place.” When the objective truth about love is accepted, chastity is understood as a great positive value and an essential element in “the culture of the person.” He then returns to his theme of the integration of love, asserting that “love is only psychologically complete when it possesses an ethical value, when it is a virtue. Only in love as a virtue is it possible to satisfy the objective demands of the personalistic norm, which requires "loving kindness" towards a person and rejects any form of ‘utilization’ of the person.” He then proceeds to explain chastity in the context of St. Thomas Aquinas's hierarchy of virtues from Summa Theologica. In St. Thomas’ system, chastity is linked with the cardinal virtue of “moderation.” Wojtyla writes, “The virtue of moderation strives to save a reasonable being from this perversion of his nature.... The virtue of moderation helps reasonable people to live reasonably, and so to attain the perfection proper to their nature.” Yet Wojtyla’s description of chastity transcends St. Thomas’ hierarchy of values (the Pope is “para-thomistic,” we joked). Wojtyla strives to emphasize the “kinship” between chastity and love. He says, “Chastity can only be thought of in association with the virtue of love. Its function is to free love from the utilitarian attitude.” As we know from our last section, this utilitarian attitude is grounded in carnal concupiscence, the subjectivism of emotions and the subjectivism of value judgments, and it can easily transition to “sinful love.” “To be chaste,” Wojtyla writes, “means to have a ‘transparent’ attitude to a person of the other sex — chastity means just that — the interior transparency without which love is not itself, for it cannot be itself until the desire to enjoy is subordinated to a readiness to show loving kindness in every situation.” Wojtyla cautions that chastity is often misunderstood to mean a blind inhibition of sensuality so that the value of the body is pushed into the subconscious — which explains why chastity is often mistaken for a negative virtue. He writes, “Chastity, in this view, is one long ‘no.’ Whereas it is above all the ‘yes’ of which certain ‘no’s’ are the consequence.” “The essence of chastity consists in quickness to affirm the value of the person in every situation, and in raising to the personal level all reactions to the value of ‘the body and sex.’ This requires a special interior, spiritual effort, for affirmation of the value of the person can only be the product of the spirit, but this effort is above all positive and creative ‘from within,’ not negative and destructive. It is not a matter of summarily ‘annihilating’ the value ‘body and sex’ in the conscious mind by pushing reactions to them down into the subconscious, but of sustained long term integration; the value ‘body and sex’ must be grounded and implanted in the value of the person.” The Pope writes that chastity is a difficult, long term matter, “and one must wait patiently for it to bear fruit, for the happiness of loving kindness which it must bring. But at the same time, chastity is the sure way to happiness.” Chastity involves a humility of the body. Part of this humility is recognizing that we live with concupiscence through the consequences of original sin — that we have these negative tendencies and must work to counter them. Wojtyla writes that the “body” must show humility in the face of human happiness. Happiness is not just mere enjoyment, the sum of pleasures the body can bring to a relationship between a man and woman. Man and woman “can and must seek their temporal, earthly happiness in a lasting union which has an interpersonal character since it is based in each of them on unreserved affirmation of the value of the person.” If the body is not humble, then it can obscure the full truth about the happiness of man — obscure the vision of the ultimate happiness: the happiness of the human person in union with a personal God. This, says Wojtyla is how we should understand Christ’s words from the Sermon on the Mount: Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. “It should be added that the truth about the union of the human person with a personal God, which will be fully accomplished within the dimensions of eternity, at the same time illuminates more fully and makes plainer the value of human love, the value of the union of man and woman as two persons.” Marriage is a lasting union on earth to prepare ourselves for permanent union with God; in this way, marriage is the image of our relation with God.

LUST vs CHASTITY

While all capital sins are addictive or have addictive qualities, they also are a perversion of something good.

Lust is a perversion of love, in particular, it is a perversion of marital love.

Surprisingly, many believe that in marriage it is okay "to lust".  Outside of marriage lust is "bad", but within marriage it is "good".  This is not actually the case.

Lust is always an objectification of something. In marriage if one lusts after his/her spouse, he/she is looking at the other as on object of pleasure. It is an attitude of "what can you do for me" vs. "what can I do for you".

Love in marriage is always selfless.  It is a giving of oneself to another freely, and never "using" the other. Love is mutual expression. Lust is individual gratification.

New Advent, a Catholic encyclopedia, says this about lust: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09438a.htm
  

The wrongfulness of lust is reducible to this: that venereal satisfaction is sought for either outsidewedlock or, at any rate, in a manner which is contrary to the laws that govern marital intercourse. Every such criminal indulgence is a mortal sin, provided of course, it be voluntary in itself and fully deliberate. This is the testimony of St. Paul in the Epistle to the Galatians, v. 19:

"Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are fornication, uncleanness, immodesty, luxury, . . . Of the which I foretell you, as I have foretold to you, that they who do such things shall not obtain the kingdom of God."

Moreover, if it be true the gravity of the offences may be measured by the harm they work to the individual or the community, there can be no doubt that lust has in this respect a gravity all its own... Lust is said to be a capital sin. The reason is obvious. The pleasure which this vice has as its object is at once so attractive and connatural to human nature as to whet keenly a man's desire, and so lead him into the commission of many other disorders in the pursuit of it. Theologians ordinarily distinguish various forms of lust in so far as it is a consummated external sin, e.g., fornication, adultery, incest, criminal assault, abduction, and sodomy. Each of these has its own specific malice--a fact to borne in mind for purposes of safeguarding the integrity of sacramental confession.

Of chastity, the virtue opposed to this vice, New Advent says: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/03637d.htm

Chastity is the virtue which excludes or moderates the indulgence of the sexual appetite. It is a form of the  virtueof temperance, which controls according to right reason the desire for and use of those things which afford the greatest sensual pleasures...Under Christianity chastity has been practiced in a manner unknown under any other influence. Christian morality prescribes the right order of relations. It therefore must direct and control the manner of relationship sustained to each other by soul and body. Between these two there is an ineradicable opposition, the flesh with its concupiscences contending unceasingly against the spirit, blinding the latter and weaning it away from the pursuit of its true life. Harmony and due order between these two must prevail. But this means the pre-eminence and mastery of the spirit, which in turn can only mean the castigation of the body. The real as well as the etymological kinship between chastity and chastisement then is obvious. Necessarily, therefore, chastity is a thing stern and austere. The effect of the example as well as of the words of Our Saviour (Matthew 19:11-12) is seen in the lives of the many celibates and virgins who have graced the history of the Christian Church, while the idea of marriage as the sign and symbol of the ineffable union of Christ with His spotless spouse the Church — a union in which fidelity no less than love is mutual — has borne its fruit in beautifying the world with patterns of conjugal chastity.

Links to help the sexually addicted & to prevent sexual addiction in youth:

http://sexrespect.com/about.html

http://dads.org/article.asp?artId=237

      

The Marriage Prayer

Blessed S. Johnpillai, Sillalai Catechist

Holy Mary, Mother of God, please pray for the Beatification of Your faithful servant, Blessed S. Johnpillai, Sillalai Catechist, Amen.

This story inspires me. I stumbled upon Blessed Johnpillal recently and was reminded once again that nothing is impossible with God.  

Annex I
Miracle attributed to the intercession of Blessed Johnpillai.
I solemnly declare and state the details of my firm belief of a favor obtained through the intercession of late Mr. S. Johnpillai, the holy soul in heaven. The details in brief are as follows:- It is the reconciliation of a Hindu couple separated for nearly two years and who, after all their efforts to reconcile failed, finally decided to divorce. It was at this point, I sought the intercession of Blessed Johnpillai to pray for the couple and to obtain their reconciliation. The fervent prayers continued for three months and at the end of three months, on Maundy Thursday, 09th of April, Mrs. SB called with the glad news. The prayers were answered and the impossible to human efforts became possible to Divine intervention through the intercession of Blessed Johnpillai. There was an apparent change of heart and the couple was reconciled. The lady thanked God profusely from the bottom of her heart. I too join her in thanking the Almighty for His mercy and love and especially to the holy soul of Mr. Johnpillai in Heaven for his intercession.

A. Jesuthasan
13th April 2009.
(NB: The report in full is filed separately)

Blessed Johnpillai, please intercede on the behalf of all spouses in need of reconciliation!

Another Saint of the Impossible

Today, May 22nd is the feast day of my new favorite saint: Saint Rita of Cascia.

St. Rita is a saint of the impossible and desperate cases. She is the patron of wives, mothers and troubled marriages.

Currently, I am doing her devotion of Fifteen Thursdays. This consists of reciting a preparatory prayer, reflecting on a certain period of her life and asking for the graces to live and focus on certain virtues in the Christian life. Listed are the focuses of each week:

1:  Return to the Evangelical Life

2:  Obtaining the Spirit of Meekness

3:  Ensuring the Religious Education of Children

4:  Assisting Troubled Marriages

5:  Fostering Mortification and Sacrifice

6:  Obtaining the Christian Meaning of Death

7:  Practicing True Charity

8: Obtaining the Gift of Reconciliation

9:  Practicing the Evangelical Virtues

10: Obtaining True Contrition

11: Fixing Our Eyes on Heaven During Our Earthy Pilgrimage

12: Discovering What God Expects Of Us

13: Seeing Christ In Others

14: To Prepare For A Good Death

15: Imitating St. Rita in Bearing Witness To Christ

The prayers for these may be found in the book, Saint Rita, Saint of the Impossible, published by Catholic Book Publishing Corp.

Prayer in Difficult and Desperate Cases

O Powerful and glorious St. Rita, here at your feet is a disconsolate soul who, having need of help, has recourse to you with the fond hope of being heard. Because of my unworthiness and my past infidelities, I dare not hope my prayers will succeed in gaining God's mercy. That is why I feel the need of an all powerful mediatrix.  It is you that I have looked for, St. Rita, as the incomparable Saint of impossible and desperate cases.O dear Saint, take my cause to heart. Intercede with God so that I may obtain the grace I need so much and ardently desire ( mention the desired grace).

Do not, dear Saint, let me leave your presence without having been heard. If something in me is an obstacle to obtaining the grace I ask, help me to remove it.Infuse my prayer with your precious merits and present it to your heavenly Spouse together with your prayer. Thus enriched by you, kind Rita, my prayer will be heard. You were the wife most faithful, and you felt the sorrows of your heavenly Spouse in His passion. How could He reject a prayer enriched by you or not hear it?

All my trust is in you. Relying on your mediation, I await with a tranquil heart the fulfillment of my request.

Oh dear St. Rita, may the trust and hope I place in you not be lessened. Grant that my request be not in vain; then I shall make known to everyone the goodness of your heart and the great power of your intercession. Amen.