ANGER vs MEEKNESS - Day 4

St. Francis De Sales devotes two chapters on anger and meekness/gentleness in his book, Introduction to the Devote Life.

1. Of Gentleness Towards Our Neighbor And How To Remedy Anger
2. Of Gentleness Towards Ourself

In the first chapter, he offers many points; the most striking for me was: "...this miserable life is only a journey to the happy one; do not let us therefore be angry with one another in the way, but let us journey onward with our brethren and companions, gently, peacefully and amiably... St. James says quite shortly and without reserve that the anger of man worketh not the justice of God."

So much unnecessary pain, divorce, family division and lonely lives are lived because anger destroys our ability to love, forgive and be at peace with one another. I believe it is one the devil's sneakiest tools. We think we have the right to be angry and hold on to it, because we can find reasons to justify it -- but are our reasons more valued by us than our own interior peace and the soul of the one we are angry at?  

I think we do value our inner peace, and the well being of those whom we are angry with. However, I think that we are also often afraid to let go of that anger. We don't make peace because to release that angry hold on the other is to lose some control over the offender and the situation. We may also find it hard to respond with humility and meekness because our own failings haunt us. It is often easier to be angry at someone else and blame them for our miseries -- we don't want to take a close look at ourselves. We may be insecure, prideful, and remorseful of past misdeeds. We may be so angry at ourselves that we find comfort in sharing the anger.

In his second chapter on anger, St. Francis reminds us to treat ourselves gently, so that we may further be healed from our own inner sources of pain. He says: "When many commit a great fault, who, when they have given way to anger, are annoyed at being annoyed, are vexed at being vexed, and at having fretted; for by this means they have kept their hearts preserved and steeped in anger: and although the second anger seems to destroy the first, yet it serves as an opening for a new anger...hav[ing] no other source than self-love, which is troubled and disquieted at seeing ourselves imperfect... Lift up your heart, then, quite gently, when it falls, humming yourself profoundly before God by acknowledging your misery, without being in the least astonished by your fall, since it is not surprising that weakness should be weak, and feebleness, feeble, and misery, miserable. Nevertheless, detest with your whole heart the offense against God and with great courage and confidence in His mercy, pursue once more the practice of virtue which you had forsaken."  

LUST vs CHASTITY -- Day 7

Introduction to the Devote Life
By St. Francis De Sales
Book 3, Chapter 13:
COUNSELS FOR PRESERVING CHASTITY

Be extremely prompt in turning away from all the advances and from all the allurements of incontinence, for this evil works insensibly, and by little beginnings advances to great misfortunes: it is always easier to flee than to cure it.

Human bodies are like glasses, which cannot be carried in contact with one another without running a risk of being broken, and like fruits, which though sound and well seasoned, are damaged when placed in contact with one another. Even water within a vessel, however fresh it may be, when it is touched by some beast, when it is touched by some beast of the earth, cannot preserve its freshness.  Never permit anyone, Philothea, to touch you in an unmannerly fashion, either by way of play or way of favor; for though perchance chastity may be preserved amidst these actions which are rather frivolous than malicious, yet the freshness and bloom of chastity always receives some harm and loss therefrom; but to allow oneself to be touched immodestly is the utter ruin of chastity.

Chastity depends on the heart as its source, but it is concerned with the body as the matter; and therefore it may be lost by all the exterior senses of the body and by the thoughts and desires of the heart. It is immodesty to behold, to hear, to speak, to touch impure things, when the heart occupies itself with them and takes pleasure in them. St. Paul says quite shortly: "Let fornication be so much as named among you."  

Bees not only refuse to touch carrion, but they shun and dislike immensely all kinds of unsavory smells which come from it. The sacred Spouse in the Canticle of Canticles has hands drop with myrrh, which is a preservative against corruption; her lips are as a scarlet lace, a mark of the modesty of her words; her eyes are those of a dove by reason of their clearness; her ears have earrings of gold, a token of purity; her nose is likened to the cedars of Libanus, an incorruptible wood. Such ought the devote soul to be: chaste, clean and modest, in hands, lips, in ears, in eyes, and in all her body.

To this end, I will tell you of a saying which the ancient Father John Cassian relates as having come from the mouth of the great St. Basil, who speaking of himself, said one day: "I know nothing of women, yet I am not a virgin."  Certainly, chastity may be lost in as many ways as there are kinds of immodesty and watonness; and, according as they are great or small, some of these enfeeble it, others wound it, and others cause it to be lost entirely. There are certain indiscreet, foolish and sensual familiarities and intimacies, which strictly speaking, do not violate chastity, and yet enfeeble it, make it languid, and tarnish its beautiful whiteness. There are other familiarities and intimacies, bot only indiscreet but vicious, not only foolish but impure, not only sensual but carnal; and by these chastity is, at least, sorely wounded and endangered. I say "at least," because it dies and perishes altogether when acts of indecency and lasciviousness give to flesh the final effect of voluptuous pleasure; for then chastity perishes more unworthily, wickedly and miserably than when lost by fornication, or even by adultery and incest; for these kinds of filthiness are but Pudicitia, are monsters of iniquity and sin. Now Cassian does not believe, any more than I do, that St. Basil was thinking of any such lasciviousness, when he accuses himself of not being a virgin; for I think that he was only alluding to the bad and voluptuous thoughts, which, though they had not defiled his body, had yet contaminated his heart, of the chastity whereof all generous souls are extremely jealous.

Do not associate at all with immodest persons, especially if they be also unashamed of being immodest, as they almost always are; for, as the he-goats when they touch the almond trees with their tongues makes them become bitter, so these malodorous souls and corrupted hearts can scarcely speak to anyone, either of the same sex or of the other, without causing some sort of loss to modesty: they have poison in their eyes and in their breath like basilisks. On the contrary, associate with chaste and virtuous persons; think upon holy things and often read holy books, for the word of God is chaste, and makes them chaste that delight in it; which makes David compare it to the topaz, a precious stone which has power to allay the power of concupiscence. 

Keep yourself always close to Jesus Christ crucified, both spiritually by meditation, and really by Holy Communion; for just as those who take their rest upon the herb called agnus casts become chaste and modest, so you also, resting your heart upon Our Lord who is the true Lamb chaste and immaculate, will soon find your soul purified from all defilements and impurities.   

LUST vs CHASTITY Day 6

Introduction to the Devote Life
By St. Francis De Sales
Book 3, Chapter 12:
OF THE NECESSITY OF CHASTITY

Chastity is the lily of all virtues, and makes men almost equal to angels. Nothing is beautiful but by purity, and the purity of men is chastity.  Chastity is called honorableness, and the profession thereof of honor; it is named integrity, and is opposite to corruption -- in short, it has is glory apart in that it is the beautiful and white virtue of the soul and of the body.

It is never lawful to derive any carnal gratification from our bodies in any manner whatsoever, except in lawful marriage, and sanctity  of which is able, by a just compensation, to repair the loss which is received in  the delectation. And even in marriage we must observe honesty of intention, so that, if there be anything unseemly in the pleasure that is taken, there may be nothing but honesty in the will which takes it.

The chaste heart is like the mother pearl which can receive  no drop of water but such as comes from heaven, for it can  receive no pleasure but that of which marriage is ordained by Heaven; beyond this it is not permitted to think of it with a thought which is voluptuous, voluntary and deliberately entertained.

For the first degree of virtue, take care, Philothea, not to admit any sort of carnal gratification that is prohibited and forbidden, as are all those which are taken out of marriage, or even in marriage when they are taken against the rule of marriage. For the second, refrain yourself as far as possible from useless and superfluous delectations, though they be lawful and permissible. For the third do not set your affections on those pleasures and gratifications which are commanded and ordained; for though we must practice certain necessary delectations -- that is to say, those which concern the end and institution of holy marriage -- yet we must never set our heart and mind on them.

For the rest everyone has great need of this virtue. Those that are in the state of widowhood must have a courageous  chastity, which not only despises present and future objects, but which resists the imagination of former pleasures lawfully received in marriage can stir up in their souls, which for that reason are more prone to feel the force of fleshly allurements. For this cause, St. Augustine admires the purity of his dear Alipius, who had wholly forgotten and despised the pleasures of the flesh, of which he had sometimes tasted in his youth. And in truth, so long as the fruits are undamaged they may be preserved, some in straw, some in sand, and some in their own leaves; but once they are bruised, it is almost impossible to keep them but with honey and sugar in conserves: in like manner chastity which never has been wounded or violated can be kept in many ways, but when it has once been impaired, nothing can conserve it but an excellent devotion, which as I have often said, is the true spiritual honey and sugar.

Virgins have need of an extremely simple and delicate chastity, in order to banish from their hearts all kinds of curious thoughts, and to despise with an absolute contempt all kinds of unclean pleasure, which indeed do not deserve to be desired by man, since asses and swine have more aptitude for them than human beings. Let these pure souls, therefore, be careful to never doubt that chastity is incomparably better than all that is incompatible with it; for, as the great St. Jerome says, the enemy strongly tempts virgins to the desire of tasting these pleasures, representing them to them as infinitely more pleasant and delightful than they are; and this troubles them very much, because, as the holy Father says, "they esteem that more sweet of which they know nothing."

For, as the little moth seeing the flame flutters about it, being curious to try if it be sweet as it is beautiful in appearance, and carried away by this fancy ceases not till it is lost at the first trial; so young persons very often allow themselves to be so much swayed by the false and foolish estimation which they have formed of the pleasure of the ardours of passion, that after indulging their curiosity in many thoughts, they finally plunge into ruin and destruction; being more foolish in this than the moths, which have some reason to think that the fire is delicious since it is so beautiful, whereas they, knowing that which they seek is extremely shameful, cease not for all that to overestimate the senseless and brutish pleasure thereof.

But as for those who are married, it is most true, though people do not commonly this so, chastity is very necessary for them, because in their case it does not consist in abstaining altogether from carnal pleasures, but in exercising self-control in the midst of them. Now, since the commandment, "Be angry and not sin" is, in my opinion, more difficult than this: "Be not angry at all" and because it is easier to refrain altogether from carnal pleasures than to observe moderation in them. It is true that the holy liberty of marriage has a special power to allay the ardour of concupiscence, but the frailty of those who enjoy it passes easily from permission to dissoluteness, and from use to abuse. And as we see many rich persons steal, not from poverty, but from avarice, so also we see many married people give way to excess through lack of restraint and wantonness, notwithstanding the lawful object, to which they ought and should be able to confine themselves; their concupiscence being like an unsteady flame, which goes burning lightly here and there without settling down anywhere. It is always dangerous to take strong remedies, because if we take more than we should, of if they be not well prepared, we receive much harm from them; marriage has been blessed and ordained in part as a remedy against concupiscence, and it is without doubt a very good remedy, but a strong one none the less, and in consequence very dangerous, if it be not discreetly used.

I add that, besides long illnesses, human affairs of various kinds often separate husbands from their wives, and therefore married persons have need of two sorts of chastity; the one for entire continence when they are separated from one another on such occasions as I have mentioned above; the other, for moderation when they are living together in the ordinary course. Indeed, St. Catherine of Siena saw amongst the damned many souls in great torment for having violated the sanctity of marriage, which happened she said, not because of the enormity of sin, for murders and blasphemies are more grievous, but "because those who commit it do not make it a matter of conscience," and consequently continue for a long time in it.

You see, then, that chastity is necessary for all kinds of persons. "Follow peace with all men", says the Apostle, "and holiness without which no man shall see God." Now the holiness which he means is chastity, as St. Jerome and St. Chrysostom have remarked. No, Philothea, no one will see God without chastity, no one "will dwell in his holy tabernacle" who is not "clean of heart"; as the Savior Himself says, "the dogs and the unchaste shall be banished from it" and "blessed are the clean of heart for they shall see God."  

COVETOUSNESS vs GRATITUDE - Day 6

A series inspired by the Introduction to the Devote Life would not be complete without a snippet from St. Francis De Sales.

Meditation III: Of the Benefits of God

Preparation

1. Place yourself in the presence of God.

2. Ask him to inspire you.

Considerations

1. Consider the bodily gifts which God has bestowed upon you; your body, so many conveniences for its support, so many lawful consolations for it, such friends, such helps. And compare your case with that so so many others who are worth more than you, and who have not received these benefits: some disabled in body, in health, in limb; others abandoned to the mercy and reproaches, and of contempt and dishonor; others oppressed with poverty; and God has not willed that you be so miserable.

2. Consider your gifts of the mind; how many persons are there in the world who are dull-witted, raving, insane; and why not you of that number? God has been favorable to you. How many there are who have been brought up boorishly and in extreme ignorance; and Divine Providence has allowed you to receive a good education and honorable upbringing.

3. Consider your spiritual graces: O Philothea, you are a child of the Church; God has taught you to know Him from your youth, How many times has He given you His Sacraments? How many times has He given you inspirations, interior lights and reproaches you for correction? How many times has He delivered you from the occasions of spiritual ruin, to which you have been exposed? And during these past years have you not had leisure and opportunity to make progress in the good of your soul? Consider a little in detail how sweet and gracious God has been to you.

Affections and Resolutions

1. Marvel at the goodness of God. Oh! how good God is towards me! Oh how good He is! O Lord, how rich in mercy is Thy Heart, and generous in loving kindness. O my soul, let us recount for ever the graces which He has given us.

2. Marvel at your ingratitude. But what am I, O Lord, that Thou are mindful of me? Oh! how great is my unworthiness! Alas! I have trampled underfoot Thy benefits; I has dishonored Thy graces, misusing them in contempt of Thy sovereign goodness; I have opposed the abyss of my ingratitude to the abyss of Thy grace and favor.

3. Stir yourself up to gratitude. Well then, O my heart, be no longer faithless, ungrateful and disloyal to this great Benefactor. And shall not my soul henceforth be subject to God, who has wrought so many wonders and graces in me and for me?

4. Ah, then, Philothea, withdraw your heart from such and such pleasures, consecrate it to the service of God who has done so much for it; apply the powers of your soul to know Him and be grateful to Him, by such and such exercises which are conductive to that purpose; make a careful use of the means which are in the Church to save yourself and to love God. Yes, I will be assiduous in prayer, in the frequentation of the the Sacraments, I will listen to the Word of God, I will put into practice the inspirations and counsels that I receive.

Conclusion

1. Thanksgiving -- Thank God for the knowledge which He has now give you of your duty, and all the benefits which you have hitherto received.

Introduction to the Devote Life - as inspired by St. Francis De Sales

I am currently reading St. Francis of De Sales', "Introduction to the Devote Life," and  I am discussing it with a friend. I think that St. Francis has a very simple and direct way to approach holiness.

He really has helped me become more aware of how to complete the journey, as opposed to just being on it. I believe that St. Francis addresses exactly the way to overcome sin and reach the perfection that Jesus Christ calls us to: "be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect." St. Francis breaks this journey down into simple steps. 

• Stop committing mortal sins!
• Get rid of the attachments to mortal sin!
• Stop committing venials sins!
• Get rid of the attachments to venial sin! 

As a a refresher, I am breaking out the Baltimore Catechism (didn't you just love it as a kid?):

66 - 67, 69. What is mortal sin? Why is the sin called mortal? 

What are the three things necessary to make a sin mortal?

 Mortal sin is a grievous offense against the law of God. This sin is called mortal, or deadly, because it deprives the sinner of sanctifying grace, the supernatural life of the soul. To make a sin mortal these three things are necessary:

i) first, the thought, desire, word, action or omission must be seriously wrong;

ii) second, the sinner must be mindful of the serious wrong;

iii) third, the sinner must fully consent to it.

So... in other words to do the first thing St. Francis recommends, we must stop fully consenting to and committing grievous offenses against God. Easy! Right? :-)

After we become a master of this, the second task is to rid ourselves of the delight we experience with these sins: "I would commit these, if only the fear of God wasn't stopping me!" vs. "I hate doing that because it is harmful to me and the relationship I have with God and my neighbor. I am disgusted by the thought of doing that!"

And lastly (in my summary of his way), St. Francis recommends the purging of venial sin.

70 &71. What is venial sin? How can a sin be venial?

Venial sin is a less serious offense against the law of God, which does not deprive the soul of

 sanctifying grace... A sin can be venial in two ways:

i) first, when the evil done is not seriously wrong;

ii) second, when the evil done is seriously wrong, 

but the sinner sincerely believes it is only slightly wrong, 

or does not give full consent to it.

For both mortal and venial sins, their sources come from the following vices: pride, covetousness, lust, anger, gluttony, envy and sloth. These are also known as Capital or Deadly Sins. (75. They are called capital sins because they, in themselves, are not the greatest sins, but they are the chief reasons why men commit sin.)

Since all sin is displeasing to God, and sometimes, even deadly for us, I think it is wise to try and cut off every source of sin in our lives. For myself, I am going to look at each capital sin closely for a week . In doing so, I will compare them to the virtues opposite to them. I desire to develop the virtues that counter them such as humility, gratitude, chastity, charity, temperance etc.,. Therefore, I will include the prayers and ideas that I have come across to help root out the vice and strengthen the virtue. I will chose a new capital sin to examine each Sunday. Today, I will start with.... PRIDE. See my next blog entry for today.

Happy Sunday!

Meanwhile, you might find this article helpful: Examination of Conscience for Adults
or, try this quiz for a quick examination :-): Seven Deadly Sins Quiz - What's Your Sin?