St. Francis De Sales devotes two chapters on anger and meekness/gentleness in his book, Introduction to the Devote Life.
1. Of Gentleness Towards Our Neighbor And How To Remedy Anger
2. Of Gentleness Towards Ourself
In the first chapter, he offers many points; the most striking for me was: "...this miserable life is only a journey to the happy one; do not let us therefore be angry with one another in the way, but let us journey onward with our brethren and companions, gently, peacefully and amiably... St. James says quite shortly and without reserve that the anger of man worketh not the justice of God."
So much unnecessary pain, divorce, family division and lonely lives are lived because anger destroys our ability to love, forgive and be at peace with one another. I believe it is one the devil's sneakiest tools. We think we have the right to be angry and hold on to it, because we can find reasons to justify it -- but are our reasons more valued by us than our own interior peace and the soul of the one we are angry at?
I think we do value our inner peace, and the well being of those whom we are angry with. However, I think that we are also often afraid to let go of that anger. We don't make peace because to release that angry hold on the other is to lose some control over the offender and the situation. We may also find it hard to respond with humility and meekness because our own failings haunt us. It is often easier to be angry at someone else and blame them for our miseries -- we don't want to take a close look at ourselves. We may be insecure, prideful, and remorseful of past misdeeds. We may be so angry at ourselves that we find comfort in sharing the anger.
In his second chapter on anger, St. Francis reminds us to treat ourselves gently, so that we may further be healed from our own inner sources of pain. He says: "When many commit a great fault, who, when they have given way to anger, are annoyed at being annoyed, are vexed at being vexed, and at having fretted; for by this means they have kept their hearts preserved and steeped in anger: and although the second anger seems to destroy the first, yet it serves as an opening for a new anger...hav[ing] no other source than self-love, which is troubled and disquieted at seeing ourselves imperfect... Lift up your heart, then, quite gently, when it falls, humming yourself profoundly before God by acknowledging your misery, without being in the least astonished by your fall, since it is not surprising that weakness should be weak, and feebleness, feeble, and misery, miserable. Nevertheless, detest with your whole heart the offense against God and with great courage and confidence in His mercy, pursue once more the practice of virtue which you had forsaken."
1. Of Gentleness Towards Our Neighbor And How To Remedy Anger
2. Of Gentleness Towards Ourself
In the first chapter, he offers many points; the most striking for me was: "...this miserable life is only a journey to the happy one; do not let us therefore be angry with one another in the way, but let us journey onward with our brethren and companions, gently, peacefully and amiably... St. James says quite shortly and without reserve that the anger of man worketh not the justice of God."
So much unnecessary pain, divorce, family division and lonely lives are lived because anger destroys our ability to love, forgive and be at peace with one another. I believe it is one the devil's sneakiest tools. We think we have the right to be angry and hold on to it, because we can find reasons to justify it -- but are our reasons more valued by us than our own interior peace and the soul of the one we are angry at? I think we do value our inner peace, and the well being of those whom we are angry with. However, I think that we are also often afraid to let go of that anger. We don't make peace because to release that angry hold on the other is to lose some control over the offender and the situation. We may also find it hard to respond with humility and meekness because our own failings haunt us. It is often easier to be angry at someone else and blame them for our miseries -- we don't want to take a close look at ourselves. We may be insecure, prideful, and remorseful of past misdeeds. We may be so angry at ourselves that we find comfort in sharing the anger.
In his second chapter on anger, St. Francis reminds us to treat ourselves gently, so that we may further be healed from our own inner sources of pain. He says: "When many commit a great fault, who, when they have given way to anger, are annoyed at being annoyed, are vexed at being vexed, and at having fretted; for by this means they have kept their hearts preserved and steeped in anger: and although the second anger seems to destroy the first, yet it serves as an opening for a new anger...hav[ing] no other source than self-love, which is troubled and disquieted at seeing ourselves imperfect... Lift up your heart, then, quite gently, when it falls, humming yourself profoundly before God by acknowledging your misery, without being in the least astonished by your fall, since it is not surprising that weakness should be weak, and feebleness, feeble, and misery, miserable. Nevertheless, detest with your whole heart the offense against God and with great courage and confidence in His mercy, pursue once more the practice of virtue which you had forsaken."
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