Rule 1: No complicated answers.

So, what do you do when you are asked a question about something that is really important to you, but you have no idea how to answer it?

Well, if you are me, you might bumble around spurting out stupid things, hoping that the other person will grab on to something you can explain... until you realize that you are just shooting yourself in the foot, so then you just shut up.

This happened to me recently.

The question was something to the effect of: "Why pray, when you can spend the same amount of time doing something practical?"

Basically: contemplative nun vs normal person.

In other words, do cloistered nuns have a place in today's society? If one must be a nun, why not be a religious nurse, or teacher, or something that requires physical/visible contributions to society?

Well... I can pull out my Bible, my Catechism, Church Fathers, Lives of the Saints and repeat the traditions of 2,000 years + some. However, this would only be helpful if I were talking to someone who believed in the power of prayer. But when someone doesn't have the same founding premises as I do, what can I say? And how can I prove the benefits of a life dedicated to prayer naturally, from purely a philosophical/natural level? And simply?

This person is a blessing in my life, because he helps me get rid of the fluff. In talking to him there is a rule:

Rule 1: No complicated answers.

Ok. So here is my non-complicated answer... I hope:

       • For a society to excel, the people must be virtuous. (Read Aristotle's Ethics & Politics, Aquinas' On Kingship, De Toqueville's Democracy in America.)

       • Virtuous people (i.e., the happy people) are focused on the greater good. (Aristole, Plato, Scriptures, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, experience, etc.,.)

       • Virtuous people become closer to perfection by continually striving to be better. These heroes are civil servants, volunteers, who do good things because they are good. "No greater love than giving up a life for a friend." They live to serve.

       • Holy nuns live to serve. Some serve as nurses, etc.,. however, even as contemplatives, they view themselves as raising up humanity. They dedicate their whole life to contributing to the greatest good: valuing every person and helping every individual to heal from his/her own brokeness, or in their language, sinfulness. They do this by offering up prayers and supplications.

      • Now say there is no God; and/or say their prayers don't really do all that they believe. Are their lives a waste?

       No. They offer hope. They offer a place of peace. They are real examples of total self sacrifice, a virtue that even Hollywood tries to capture. Millions of people over centuries and even at this moment flock to places dedicated to prayer and healing, because at some point, all persons seek release from suffering.

        Contemplatives offer real solutions: they live redemptive suffering (using suffering for good) and teach others how to do the same. Thus, they inspire others to be first class citizens, to walk the better, though harder road. They, by their own lives of prayer, learn how to rely not on events or persons to make them happy, but to find happiness in what cannot be taken away. In this, they are grounded and centered. This centeredness is very attractive to "normal" persons, who try to find this in everyday ways, such as in yoga. (Every culture has some form of persons specifically assigned to contemplation.)

         AND even, if they have no contact with "normal" persons, they can be happy with themselves because they are living for a cause and entirely dedicating themselves to it.

        • Now say there is God; and say their prayers really do all that they believe.

         :-) Wouldn't you say they have the most noble life?

          1. They strive to in every moment be focused on the will of God and conform themselves to perfection.  In their seclusion and prayer focused life, they limit the distractions that the more "practical" secular life offers.

         2. They are spending their lives in serving others, and not just anybody. They serve complete strangers and often the rejected, lonely, sick, and the hated.

         3. The hope and peace that they offer others is greatly magnified because they have a unique connection with God, who is the Author of healing, joy and peace. Miracles through their intercession are possible and are more valuable than anything science can offer.

SLOTH vs. DILIGENCE - Day 6

"The Servant of Charity must go to bed each night so tired from work that he will think he has been beaten." St. Louis Guanella

SLOTH vs DILIGENCE - Day 5

http://www.catholicbook.com/AgredaCD/MyCatholicFaith/mcfc045.htm

What virtues are opposed to sloth?

The virtues of diligence and zeal are opposed to sloth.

From the days of Adam work has been an obligation for man. 

God said to Adam: "In the sweat of thy face thou shalt eat bread, until thou return to the earth out of which thou wast taken" (Gen. 3:19)

"If any man will not work, neither let him eat." (2 Thess. 3:10). 

Jesus Christ worked all His life, and chose working people to be His Mother and foster-father. 

What is dilegence?

Diligence in labor is a shield against temptation; thieves do not break into a house full of busy people.

What is zeal?

Zeal is fervor for our salvation and for that of others, out of love of God. It manifests itself in the propagation of the faith, the sanctification of souls, and making God better known.

The zealous man talks to God as often as he can in prayer; he does not forget his religious duties. He loses no opportunity in doing good works, and cheerfully makes sacrifices for the love of God. All his works and sufferings he offers to God, for his own salvation as well as for that of others. He works hard, remembering that "The kingdom of heaven has been enduring violent assault, and the violent have been seizing it by force" (Matt. 11: 12).

SLOTH vs DILIGENCE - Day 4

Two Parables & One Prophecy (Matthew 25)

“Then the kingdom of heaven shall be compared to ten maidens who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. ² Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. ³ For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them; ⁴ but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. ⁵ As the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept. ⁶ But at midnight there was a cry, ‘Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’ ⁷ Then all those maidens rose and trimmed their lamps.⁸ And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ ⁹ But the wise replied, ‘Perhaps there will not be enough for us and for you; go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.’ ¹⁰ And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast; and the door was shut. ¹¹ Afterward the other maidens came also, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open to us.’ ¹² But he replied, ‘Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.’ ¹³ Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.

¹⁴ “For it will be as when a man going on a journey called his servants and entrusted to them his property; ¹⁵ to one he gave five talents,to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. ¹⁶ He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them; and he made five talents more.¹⁷ So also, he who had the two talents made two talents more. ¹⁸ But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money.¹⁹ Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. ²⁰ And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.’ ²¹ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a little, I will set you over much; enter into the joy of your master.’ ²² And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.’ ²³ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a little, I will set you over much; enter into the joy of your master.’ ²⁴ He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not winnow; ²⁵ so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.’²⁶ But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sowed, and gather where I have not winnowed? ²⁷ Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. ²⁸ So take the talent from him, and give it to him who has the ten talents. ²⁹ For to every one who has will more be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who has not, even what he has will be taken away. ³⁰ And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness; there men will weep and gnash their teeth.’

³¹ “When the Son of man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. ³² Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate them one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats,³³ and he will place the sheep at his right hand, but the goats at the left. ³⁴ Then the King will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; ³⁵ for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, ³⁶ I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ ³⁷ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give thee drink? ³⁸ And when did we see thee a stranger and welcome thee, or naked and clothe thee?³⁹ And when did we see thee sick or in prison and visit thee?’ ⁴⁰ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.’ ⁴¹ Then he will say to those at his left hand, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels; ⁴² for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ ⁴⁴ Then they also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see thee hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to thee?’ ⁴⁵ Then he will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it not to one of the least of these, you did it not to me.’ ⁴⁶ And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

SLOTH vs DILIGENCE

Grrr... one of my email accounts got hacked into over the weekend. It is stressful for me to try to minimize the damage.  I am also frustrated with all the time and energy that needs to be spent in re-securing my identity.  Without this invasion, I could be doing more things that are actually on my to do list, such as finishing my Devote Life Series.

However, this experience has provided me with two benefits:

1) It has given me immediate motivation to organize and minimize everything I have online.
2) It gives me an opportunity to extend mercy to the perpetrator via praying for his/her/their conversion/s. "Forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those tresspasses against us" (Before you continue, I invite you to offer up a Glory Be or other preferred prayer for whoever did this.)

... thank you for your prayer.

When I get angry, it is easy for me to feel justified in remaining in my anger. Something unfair was done to me after all!!! However, I am learning more and more that anger just makes the bad situation last longer. Are these frustrating moments going to effect me two years from now? No.  So I am not going to spend another second more on a situation now out of my hands. Instead, I am going to consider sloth and it's virtue.

SLOTH:

Sloth is a sin associated with laziness.  It is apathy for both physical and spiritual duties.

Sloth is "sluggishness of the mind which neglects to begin good... [it] is evil in its effect, if it so oppresses man as to draw him away entirely from good deeds." (2,35, ad 1) - St. Thomas Aquinas

What is it's corresponding virtue?  Diligence. 

"Diligence seems to be the same as solicitude*, because the more we love[diligimus] a thing the more solicitous are we about it. Hence diligence, no less than solicitude, is required for every virtue, in so far as due acts of reason are requisite for every virtue." (1,54, ad 1) - St. Thomas Aquinas

*Solicitude is an attitude expressing excessive attentiveness: to show great solicitude about his wife's health. 

January is a great time to learn (and keep) the habit of diligence as every one seems to be focused on it to some level -- New Year's resolutions and all.

Since St.Thomas believes that it is easier to be attentive to the things we love, I am trying a new approach to tackling laziness this year. If say, I want to shed some pounds, instead of scheduling exercise times for the sake of exercising, I will instead find an activity or a goal that will require me to meet the desired level of activity.  It will be a subplot to the story of my life.

Try turning your resolutions into stories too! How? 

Take five and pray. Ask God to inspire you.  Then write down the main goals you want to accomplish before 2014. Then rewrite the goals as individual events/stories:

1st draft:  I will lose weight.

vs.

2nd draft: I will run in a marathon on (date) to raise money for (cause) that will benefit (person I know).

Because your goal is now a subplot in your life, it is easier to avoid the temptations of laziness, and it gives you a purpose beyond a mere item on an overwhelming list. 

GLUTTONY vs TEMPERANCE - Day 6

From the Catechism:

1809 Temperance is the moral virtue that moderates the attraction of pleasures and provides balance in the use of created goods. It ensures the will's mastery over instincts and keeps desires within the limits of what is honorable. The temperate person directs the sensitive appetites toward what is good and maintains a healthy discretion: "Do not follow your inclination and strength, walking according to the desires of your heart."⁷² Temperance is often praised in the Old Testament: "Do not follow your base desires, but restrain your appetites."⁷³ In the New Testament it is called "moderation" or "sobriety." We ought "to live sober, upright, and godly lives in this world."⁷⁴

To live well is nothing other than to love God with all one's heart, with all one's soul and with all one's efforts; from this it comes about that love is kept whole and uncorrupted (through temperance). No misfortune can disturb it (and this is fortitude). It obeys only [God] (and this is justice), and is careful in discerning things, so as not to be surprised by deceit or trickery (and this is prudence).⁷⁵

1838 Temperance moderates the attraction of the pleasures of the senses and provides balance in the use of created goods.

2290 The virtue of temperance disposes us to avoid every kind of excess: the abuse of food, alcohol, tobacco, or medicine. Those incur grave guilt who, by drunkenness or a love of speed, endanger their own and others' safety on the road, at sea, or in the air.

2341 The virtue of chastity comes under the cardinal virtue of temperance, which seeks to permeate the passions and appetites of the senses with reason.

2407 In economic matters, respect for human dignity requires the practice of the virtue of temperance, so as to moderate attachment to this world's goods; the practice of the virtue of justice, to preserve our neighbor's rights and render him what is his due; and the practice of solidarity, in accordance with the golden rule and in keeping with the generosity of the Lord, who "though he was rich, yet for your sake . . . became poor so that by his poverty, you might become rich."¹⁹⁰

2517 The heart is the seat of moral personality: "Out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication. . . . "³⁰⁵ The struggle against carnal covetousness entails purifying the heart and practicing temperance:

Remain simple and innocent, and you will be like little children who do not know the evil that destroys man's life.³⁰⁶

GLUTTONY VS TEMPERANCE - Day 5

For those of you following my Devote Life Series, you have probably been wondering if I fell off the face of the planet.  :-)

I would say that life has been busy, or other more immediate projects came up, etc., and both these would be true, but the main reason the series froze was because every time I sat down to write something about temperance or gluttony, I couldn't think of anything to write and I couldn't find anything I wanted to reblog.

So, I apologize for the writer's block.

Since yesterday was Thanksgiving, I thought about temperance and gluttony all day. I resolved not to get second helpings and to not indulge in sweet unhealthy/unnecessary drinks. In regard to the food I was very good, minus the extra spoonful of stuffing. :-)  I normally don't drink alcohol; I don't like the taste of it. However, surprisingly I had way more alcohol than I average in a month.  My uncle made me a vodka drink and then my aunt handed me a huge glass of wine which I was only able to half finish. I also had two glasses of hot apple cider, coffee and one glass of sprite. So, basically I failed yesterday.

I feel very blessed to not have alcohol as a temptation in my life.  However, I do struggle with saying no to fatty, fried, gooey and sweet items. They always look or smell so good... yet I always know that my body doesn't need them at the time I devour them.

Our bodies need very little food to be healthy and functional. Our stomach is as big as our fists.  I am much better at not over-indulging then I used to be.  My will power has improved and second helpings are becoming less of a temptation.  However, I am still very bad at choosing healthy options that actually nutritionally fill and sustain me.

Eating unhealthy foods is gluttony because we are choosing taste over health. Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and not protecting and maintaining His dwelling place is a capital sin.

Despite what the world says: that I deserve to eat bad because of a holiday, stress, working hard, etc., I know that when I do as it advises, as soon as I am conscious that I fell for and accepted the temptation, I must stop and go to confession. On this Black Friday, that is the only line I'll be in.

GLUTTONY vs TEMPERANCE - Day 4

St. Thomas Aquinas took a very expansive view of gluttony, going as far as to prepare a list of six ways to commit gluttony:

• Praepropere - eating too soon.
• Laute - eating too expensively.
• Nimis - eating too much.
• Ardenter - eating too eagerly.
• Studiose - eating too daintily (picky).
• Forente - eating wildly.

GLUTTONY vs TEMPERANCE - Day 3

A quick look at what St. Thomas says about temperance:

Article 1. Whether temperance is a virtue?

I answer that, As stated above (I-II, 55, 3), it is essential to virtue to incline man to good. Now the good of man is to be in accordance with reason, as Dionysius states (Div. Nom. iv). Hence human virtue is that which inclines man to something in accordance with reason. Now temperance evidently inclines man to this, since its very name implies moderation or temperateness, which reason causes. Therefore temperance is a virtue.

Article 2. Whether temperance is a special virtue?

I answer that, ... Accordingly the word "temperance" has a twofold acceptation. First, in accordance with its common signification: and thus temperance is not a special but a general virtue, because the word "temperance" signifies a certain temperateness or moderation, which reason appoints to human operations and passions: and this is common to every moral virtue. Yet there is a logical difference between temperance and fortitude, even if we take them both as general virtues: since temperance withdraws man from things which seduce the appetite from obeying reason, while fortitude incites him to endure or withstand those things on account of which he forsakes the good of reason.

On the other hand, if we take temperance antonomastically, as withholding the appetite from those things which are most seductive to man, it is a special virtue, for thus it has, like fortitude, a special matter.

Article 3. Whether temperance is only about desires and pleasures?

I answer that, As stated above (123, 12; 136, 1), it belongs to moral virtue to safeguard the good of reason against the passions that rebel against reason. Now the movement of the soul's passions is twofold, as stated above (I-II, 23, 2), when we were treating of the passions: the one, whereby the sensitive appetite pursues sensible and bodily goods, the other whereby it flies from sensible and bodily evils... Accordingly, just as the virtue of fortitude, which by its very nature bestows firmness, is chiefly concerned with the passion, viz. fear, which regards flight from bodily evils, and consequently with daring, which attacks the objects of fear in the hope of attaining some good, so, too, temperance, which denotes a kind of moderation, is chiefly concerned with those passions that tend towards sensible goods, viz. desire and pleasure, and consequently with the sorrows that arise from the absence of those pleasures. For just as daring presupposes objects of fear, so too such like sorrow arises from the absence of the aforesaid pleasures.

Article 4. Whether temperance is only about desires and pleasures of touch?

I answer that, As stated above (Article 3), temperance is about desires and pleasures in the same way as fortitude is about fear and daring. Now fortitude is about fear and daring with respect to the greatest evils whereby nature itself is dissolved; and such are dangers of death. Wherefore in like manner temperance must needs be about desires for the greatest pleasures. And since pleasure results from a natural operation, it is so much the greater according as it results from a more natural operation. Now to animals the most natural operations are those which preserve the nature of theindividual by means of meat and drink, and the nature of the species by the union of the sexes. Hence temperance is properly about pleasures of meat and drink and sexual pleasures. Now these pleasures result from the sense of touch. Wherefore it follows that temperance is about pleasures of touch.

Article 5. Whether temperance is about the pleasures proper to the taste?

I answer that, ...On these matters certain things are to be considered as principal and others as secondary. The principal thing is the use itself of the necessary means, of the woman who is necessary for the preservation of the species, or of food and drink which are necessary for the preservation of the individual: while the very use of these necessary things has a certain essential pleasure annexed thereto. In regard to either use we consider as secondary whatever makes the use more pleasurable, such as beauty and adornment in woman, and a pleasing savor and likewise odor in food. Hence temperance is chiefly about the pleasure of touch, that results essentially from the use of these necessary things, which use is in all cases attained by the touch. Secondarily, however, temperance and intemperance are about pleasures of the taste, smell, or sight, inasmuch as the sensible objects of these senses conduce to the pleasurable use of the necessary things that have relation to the touch. But since the taste is more akin to the touch than the other senses are, it follows that temperance is more about the taste than about the other senses.

Article 6. Whether the rule of temperance depends on the need of the present life?

I answer that, As stated above (1; 109, 2; 123, 12), the good of moral virtue consists chiefly in the order of reason: because "man's good is to be in accord with reason," as Dionysius asserts (Div. Nom. iv). Now the principal order of reason is that by which it directs certain things towards their end, and the good of reason consists chiefly in this order; since good has the aspect of end, and the end is the rule of whatever is directed to the end. Now all the pleasurable objects that are at man's disposal, are directed to some necessity of this life as to their end. Wherefore temperance takes the need of this life, as the rule of the pleasurable objects of which it makes use, and uses them only for as much as the need of this life requires.

Article 7. Whether temperance is a cardinal virtue?

I answer that, As stated above (123, 11; 61, 3), a principal or cardinal virtue is so called because it has a foremost claim to praise on account of one of those things that are requisite for the notion of virtue in general. Now moderation, which is requisite in every virtue, deserves praise principally in pleasures of touch, with which temperance is concerned, both because these pleasures are most natural to us, so that it is more difficult to abstain from them, and to control the desire for them, and because their objects are more necessary to the present life, as stated above (Article 4). For this reason temperance is reckoned a principal or cardinal virtue.

Article 8. Whether temperance is the greatest of the virtues?

I answer that, As the Philosopher declares (Ethic. i, 2) "the good of the many is more of the godlike than the good of the individual," wherefore the more a virtue regards the good of the many, the better it is. Now justice and fortitude regard the good of the many more than temperance does, since justice regards the relations between one man and another, while fortitude regards dangers of battle which are endured for the common weal: whereas temperance moderates only the desires and pleasures which affect man himself. Hence it is evident that justice and fortitude are more excellent virtues than temperance: while prudence and the theological virtues are more excellent still.

ANGER vs MEEKNESS - Day 4

St. Francis De Sales devotes two chapters on anger and meekness/gentleness in his book, Introduction to the Devote Life.

1. Of Gentleness Towards Our Neighbor And How To Remedy Anger
2. Of Gentleness Towards Ourself

In the first chapter, he offers many points; the most striking for me was: "...this miserable life is only a journey to the happy one; do not let us therefore be angry with one another in the way, but let us journey onward with our brethren and companions, gently, peacefully and amiably... St. James says quite shortly and without reserve that the anger of man worketh not the justice of God."

So much unnecessary pain, divorce, family division and lonely lives are lived because anger destroys our ability to love, forgive and be at peace with one another. I believe it is one the devil's sneakiest tools. We think we have the right to be angry and hold on to it, because we can find reasons to justify it -- but are our reasons more valued by us than our own interior peace and the soul of the one we are angry at?  

I think we do value our inner peace, and the well being of those whom we are angry with. However, I think that we are also often afraid to let go of that anger. We don't make peace because to release that angry hold on the other is to lose some control over the offender and the situation. We may also find it hard to respond with humility and meekness because our own failings haunt us. It is often easier to be angry at someone else and blame them for our miseries -- we don't want to take a close look at ourselves. We may be insecure, prideful, and remorseful of past misdeeds. We may be so angry at ourselves that we find comfort in sharing the anger.

In his second chapter on anger, St. Francis reminds us to treat ourselves gently, so that we may further be healed from our own inner sources of pain. He says: "When many commit a great fault, who, when they have given way to anger, are annoyed at being annoyed, are vexed at being vexed, and at having fretted; for by this means they have kept their hearts preserved and steeped in anger: and although the second anger seems to destroy the first, yet it serves as an opening for a new anger...hav[ing] no other source than self-love, which is troubled and disquieted at seeing ourselves imperfect... Lift up your heart, then, quite gently, when it falls, humming yourself profoundly before God by acknowledging your misery, without being in the least astonished by your fall, since it is not surprising that weakness should be weak, and feebleness, feeble, and misery, miserable. Nevertheless, detest with your whole heart the offense against God and with great courage and confidence in His mercy, pursue once more the practice of virtue which you had forsaken."  

ANGER vs MEEKNESS - Day 3

Meekness is one of those words that are cringed at. Often the image of a weak person comes to mind, "Meek? I don't want to be meek."

Properly understood though, it is the antidote to many of our self-made problems.

Dictionary.com defines meekness as:

meek

adjective, meek·er, meek·est.

1.

humbly patient or docile, as under provocation from others.

2.

overly submissive or compliant; spiritless; tame.

3.

Obsolete . gentle; kind.

Origin: 
1150–1200; Middle English meke, meoc  < Old Norse mjūkr  soft,mild, meek.

The primary definition is what is meant when we say Jesus was meek or when we quote His Sermon on the Mount, "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." 

The secondary definition is the way it is used and understood in secular society.  

If meekness really is oppressive suppression of personality, morals and will, then I agree with the secular understanding: "avoid being this".  However, since meekness is "humbly patient or docile, as under provocation from others," it is apparent that it is actually an incredible strength.  I like to think of it as: not letting the antagonist get under the protagonist's skin. It is control of the inner battle of the soul.  It is choosing to respond well in unfavorable circumstances. It is counting to ten and then responding with gentleness to the enemy that attempts to provoke the angry giant within us.

Think of the Hulk. Dr. Bruce Banner when taking certain measures can avoid transforming into a huge green creature of destruction. Likewise, the measures, that is, the habit of controlling our temper, is the virtue of meekness.  

"The servant of the Lord must be gentle, apt to teach, patient, in meekness instructing those that oppose." (2 Tim. 2:24–25)

ANGER vs MEEKNESS

Anger is the capital sin that I am investigating this week. Meekness is its opposing virtue.

Anger is deadly because it kills relationships. It often devastates the one whom the anger is against and enslaves the one who is is angry. It destroys marriages, family relationships, friendships and even makes individuals hateful towards God, the Church, and unsuspecting innocent parties.

"Wait", you may say, "Not all anger is a deadly sin! Isn't just anger okay?"

Yes. St. Paul says, "Be angry and do not sin". (Ephes. 4:26) We can be angry, have righteous indignation  -- that is, be disproving and saddened by certain events with a willingness to improve the situation. This is not the same as responding in anger. For when we are "angry", we lose our reason. The angry man is an irrational man. This is because he is responding in an emotional high. In the emotional high, more often than not, his own personal vendettas and scars surface. Out comes violent words and actions; he blames, judges and condemns. His heart, even if for only a moment, is hardened, and forgiveness is far from his mind. 

It only takes a moment to destroy another person. Words said can not be taken back. Blows committed can not be undone. Yes, some damage can be repaired, but evil still has escaped. 

Thus, while it is okay to be rightfully disturbed by injustice, we must always safeguard our reason.  In turning the other cheek, we are silently saying, "You can hurt me, even destroy my body, but you cannot control my response. You can not entice me to act out in anger -- to sin. Though you may bruise me, and even draw blood, you cannot take away my reason, my will. I will not surrender to you that control. If, and when I choose to respond, it will be with kindness, love and forgiveness. You can't take that away from me."

Jesus was silent at his trial. Isaiah the Prophet, foretold this:

"Though he was harshly treated, he submitted and opened not his mouth; Like a lamb led to the slaughter or a sheep before the shearers, he was silent and opened not his mouth. Oppressed and condemned, he was taken away..." (Isaiah 53:7)

We are called to be like Jesus: meek and humble of heart.

  

LUST vs CHASTITY -- Day 7

Introduction to the Devote Life
By St. Francis De Sales
Book 3, Chapter 13:
COUNSELS FOR PRESERVING CHASTITY

Be extremely prompt in turning away from all the advances and from all the allurements of incontinence, for this evil works insensibly, and by little beginnings advances to great misfortunes: it is always easier to flee than to cure it.

Human bodies are like glasses, which cannot be carried in contact with one another without running a risk of being broken, and like fruits, which though sound and well seasoned, are damaged when placed in contact with one another. Even water within a vessel, however fresh it may be, when it is touched by some beast, when it is touched by some beast of the earth, cannot preserve its freshness.  Never permit anyone, Philothea, to touch you in an unmannerly fashion, either by way of play or way of favor; for though perchance chastity may be preserved amidst these actions which are rather frivolous than malicious, yet the freshness and bloom of chastity always receives some harm and loss therefrom; but to allow oneself to be touched immodestly is the utter ruin of chastity.

Chastity depends on the heart as its source, but it is concerned with the body as the matter; and therefore it may be lost by all the exterior senses of the body and by the thoughts and desires of the heart. It is immodesty to behold, to hear, to speak, to touch impure things, when the heart occupies itself with them and takes pleasure in them. St. Paul says quite shortly: "Let fornication be so much as named among you."  

Bees not only refuse to touch carrion, but they shun and dislike immensely all kinds of unsavory smells which come from it. The sacred Spouse in the Canticle of Canticles has hands drop with myrrh, which is a preservative against corruption; her lips are as a scarlet lace, a mark of the modesty of her words; her eyes are those of a dove by reason of their clearness; her ears have earrings of gold, a token of purity; her nose is likened to the cedars of Libanus, an incorruptible wood. Such ought the devote soul to be: chaste, clean and modest, in hands, lips, in ears, in eyes, and in all her body.

To this end, I will tell you of a saying which the ancient Father John Cassian relates as having come from the mouth of the great St. Basil, who speaking of himself, said one day: "I know nothing of women, yet I am not a virgin."  Certainly, chastity may be lost in as many ways as there are kinds of immodesty and watonness; and, according as they are great or small, some of these enfeeble it, others wound it, and others cause it to be lost entirely. There are certain indiscreet, foolish and sensual familiarities and intimacies, which strictly speaking, do not violate chastity, and yet enfeeble it, make it languid, and tarnish its beautiful whiteness. There are other familiarities and intimacies, bot only indiscreet but vicious, not only foolish but impure, not only sensual but carnal; and by these chastity is, at least, sorely wounded and endangered. I say "at least," because it dies and perishes altogether when acts of indecency and lasciviousness give to flesh the final effect of voluptuous pleasure; for then chastity perishes more unworthily, wickedly and miserably than when lost by fornication, or even by adultery and incest; for these kinds of filthiness are but Pudicitia, are monsters of iniquity and sin. Now Cassian does not believe, any more than I do, that St. Basil was thinking of any such lasciviousness, when he accuses himself of not being a virgin; for I think that he was only alluding to the bad and voluptuous thoughts, which, though they had not defiled his body, had yet contaminated his heart, of the chastity whereof all generous souls are extremely jealous.

Do not associate at all with immodest persons, especially if they be also unashamed of being immodest, as they almost always are; for, as the he-goats when they touch the almond trees with their tongues makes them become bitter, so these malodorous souls and corrupted hearts can scarcely speak to anyone, either of the same sex or of the other, without causing some sort of loss to modesty: they have poison in their eyes and in their breath like basilisks. On the contrary, associate with chaste and virtuous persons; think upon holy things and often read holy books, for the word of God is chaste, and makes them chaste that delight in it; which makes David compare it to the topaz, a precious stone which has power to allay the power of concupiscence. 

Keep yourself always close to Jesus Christ crucified, both spiritually by meditation, and really by Holy Communion; for just as those who take their rest upon the herb called agnus casts become chaste and modest, so you also, resting your heart upon Our Lord who is the true Lamb chaste and immaculate, will soon find your soul purified from all defilements and impurities.   

LUST vs CHASTITY Day 6

Introduction to the Devote Life
By St. Francis De Sales
Book 3, Chapter 12:
OF THE NECESSITY OF CHASTITY

Chastity is the lily of all virtues, and makes men almost equal to angels. Nothing is beautiful but by purity, and the purity of men is chastity.  Chastity is called honorableness, and the profession thereof of honor; it is named integrity, and is opposite to corruption -- in short, it has is glory apart in that it is the beautiful and white virtue of the soul and of the body.

It is never lawful to derive any carnal gratification from our bodies in any manner whatsoever, except in lawful marriage, and sanctity  of which is able, by a just compensation, to repair the loss which is received in  the delectation. And even in marriage we must observe honesty of intention, so that, if there be anything unseemly in the pleasure that is taken, there may be nothing but honesty in the will which takes it.

The chaste heart is like the mother pearl which can receive  no drop of water but such as comes from heaven, for it can  receive no pleasure but that of which marriage is ordained by Heaven; beyond this it is not permitted to think of it with a thought which is voluptuous, voluntary and deliberately entertained.

For the first degree of virtue, take care, Philothea, not to admit any sort of carnal gratification that is prohibited and forbidden, as are all those which are taken out of marriage, or even in marriage when they are taken against the rule of marriage. For the second, refrain yourself as far as possible from useless and superfluous delectations, though they be lawful and permissible. For the third do not set your affections on those pleasures and gratifications which are commanded and ordained; for though we must practice certain necessary delectations -- that is to say, those which concern the end and institution of holy marriage -- yet we must never set our heart and mind on them.

For the rest everyone has great need of this virtue. Those that are in the state of widowhood must have a courageous  chastity, which not only despises present and future objects, but which resists the imagination of former pleasures lawfully received in marriage can stir up in their souls, which for that reason are more prone to feel the force of fleshly allurements. For this cause, St. Augustine admires the purity of his dear Alipius, who had wholly forgotten and despised the pleasures of the flesh, of which he had sometimes tasted in his youth. And in truth, so long as the fruits are undamaged they may be preserved, some in straw, some in sand, and some in their own leaves; but once they are bruised, it is almost impossible to keep them but with honey and sugar in conserves: in like manner chastity which never has been wounded or violated can be kept in many ways, but when it has once been impaired, nothing can conserve it but an excellent devotion, which as I have often said, is the true spiritual honey and sugar.

Virgins have need of an extremely simple and delicate chastity, in order to banish from their hearts all kinds of curious thoughts, and to despise with an absolute contempt all kinds of unclean pleasure, which indeed do not deserve to be desired by man, since asses and swine have more aptitude for them than human beings. Let these pure souls, therefore, be careful to never doubt that chastity is incomparably better than all that is incompatible with it; for, as the great St. Jerome says, the enemy strongly tempts virgins to the desire of tasting these pleasures, representing them to them as infinitely more pleasant and delightful than they are; and this troubles them very much, because, as the holy Father says, "they esteem that more sweet of which they know nothing."

For, as the little moth seeing the flame flutters about it, being curious to try if it be sweet as it is beautiful in appearance, and carried away by this fancy ceases not till it is lost at the first trial; so young persons very often allow themselves to be so much swayed by the false and foolish estimation which they have formed of the pleasure of the ardours of passion, that after indulging their curiosity in many thoughts, they finally plunge into ruin and destruction; being more foolish in this than the moths, which have some reason to think that the fire is delicious since it is so beautiful, whereas they, knowing that which they seek is extremely shameful, cease not for all that to overestimate the senseless and brutish pleasure thereof.

But as for those who are married, it is most true, though people do not commonly this so, chastity is very necessary for them, because in their case it does not consist in abstaining altogether from carnal pleasures, but in exercising self-control in the midst of them. Now, since the commandment, "Be angry and not sin" is, in my opinion, more difficult than this: "Be not angry at all" and because it is easier to refrain altogether from carnal pleasures than to observe moderation in them. It is true that the holy liberty of marriage has a special power to allay the ardour of concupiscence, but the frailty of those who enjoy it passes easily from permission to dissoluteness, and from use to abuse. And as we see many rich persons steal, not from poverty, but from avarice, so also we see many married people give way to excess through lack of restraint and wantonness, notwithstanding the lawful object, to which they ought and should be able to confine themselves; their concupiscence being like an unsteady flame, which goes burning lightly here and there without settling down anywhere. It is always dangerous to take strong remedies, because if we take more than we should, of if they be not well prepared, we receive much harm from them; marriage has been blessed and ordained in part as a remedy against concupiscence, and it is without doubt a very good remedy, but a strong one none the less, and in consequence very dangerous, if it be not discreetly used.

I add that, besides long illnesses, human affairs of various kinds often separate husbands from their wives, and therefore married persons have need of two sorts of chastity; the one for entire continence when they are separated from one another on such occasions as I have mentioned above; the other, for moderation when they are living together in the ordinary course. Indeed, St. Catherine of Siena saw amongst the damned many souls in great torment for having violated the sanctity of marriage, which happened she said, not because of the enormity of sin, for murders and blasphemies are more grievous, but "because those who commit it do not make it a matter of conscience," and consequently continue for a long time in it.

You see, then, that chastity is necessary for all kinds of persons. "Follow peace with all men", says the Apostle, "and holiness without which no man shall see God." Now the holiness which he means is chastity, as St. Jerome and St. Chrysostom have remarked. No, Philothea, no one will see God without chastity, no one "will dwell in his holy tabernacle" who is not "clean of heart"; as the Savior Himself says, "the dogs and the unchaste shall be banished from it" and "blessed are the clean of heart for they shall see God."  

LUST vs CHASTITY - Day 5

Is chastity a negative or positive mindset? Many individuals think chastity is a stuffy and prudish word. It is a turn off, especially, the way that most people talk about it. For me it is easy to talk about lust, because everyone can understand what that is, what it looks like, what it feels like. But chastity is a concept more foreign to our society and often presented as something left to be desired. I stumbled upon an article which I believes gives a more positive outlook on the virtue, we, as individuals and a culture, so desperately need. Below are snippets of the article: (click here for the full discussion http://www.catholicculture.com/past_discussions/june28_july12_01.html)

Tonight’s discussion addressed the last section of Chapter Three called “The True Meaning of Chastity,” pages 166-173. Peter introduced this important section by saying that he found it to capture, in a certain sense, the essence of the book, and in fact the essence of the Pope. He focused our attention on the bottom of page 171, where Wojtyla writes, “The connection between chastity and love results from the personalistic norm, which — as we said in Chapter One — has a dual content: a positive content (‘thou shalt love!’) and a negative content (‘thou shalt not use!’).” Many people put inordinate weight on the negative, and think of chastity in a negative sense, while John Paul, said Peter, puts it first in the positive context of thou shalt love. Alberto concurred, adding that one of the most attractive qualities of John Paul II is that he is so positive, and this clearly requires more intellectual effort and understanding than merely prohibiting this or that action. Wojtyla explains that people are unwilling to acknowledge the enormous value of chastity to human love because they reject the full objective truth about the love of man and woman, and “put a subjective fiction in its place.” When the objective truth about love is accepted, chastity is understood as a great positive value and an essential element in “the culture of the person.” He then returns to his theme of the integration of love, asserting that “love is only psychologically complete when it possesses an ethical value, when it is a virtue. Only in love as a virtue is it possible to satisfy the objective demands of the personalistic norm, which requires "loving kindness" towards a person and rejects any form of ‘utilization’ of the person.” He then proceeds to explain chastity in the context of St. Thomas Aquinas's hierarchy of virtues from Summa Theologica. In St. Thomas’ system, chastity is linked with the cardinal virtue of “moderation.” Wojtyla writes, “The virtue of moderation strives to save a reasonable being from this perversion of his nature.... The virtue of moderation helps reasonable people to live reasonably, and so to attain the perfection proper to their nature.” Yet Wojtyla’s description of chastity transcends St. Thomas’ hierarchy of values (the Pope is “para-thomistic,” we joked). Wojtyla strives to emphasize the “kinship” between chastity and love. He says, “Chastity can only be thought of in association with the virtue of love. Its function is to free love from the utilitarian attitude.” As we know from our last section, this utilitarian attitude is grounded in carnal concupiscence, the subjectivism of emotions and the subjectivism of value judgments, and it can easily transition to “sinful love.” “To be chaste,” Wojtyla writes, “means to have a ‘transparent’ attitude to a person of the other sex — chastity means just that — the interior transparency without which love is not itself, for it cannot be itself until the desire to enjoy is subordinated to a readiness to show loving kindness in every situation.” Wojtyla cautions that chastity is often misunderstood to mean a blind inhibition of sensuality so that the value of the body is pushed into the subconscious — which explains why chastity is often mistaken for a negative virtue. He writes, “Chastity, in this view, is one long ‘no.’ Whereas it is above all the ‘yes’ of which certain ‘no’s’ are the consequence.” “The essence of chastity consists in quickness to affirm the value of the person in every situation, and in raising to the personal level all reactions to the value of ‘the body and sex.’ This requires a special interior, spiritual effort, for affirmation of the value of the person can only be the product of the spirit, but this effort is above all positive and creative ‘from within,’ not negative and destructive. It is not a matter of summarily ‘annihilating’ the value ‘body and sex’ in the conscious mind by pushing reactions to them down into the subconscious, but of sustained long term integration; the value ‘body and sex’ must be grounded and implanted in the value of the person.” The Pope writes that chastity is a difficult, long term matter, “and one must wait patiently for it to bear fruit, for the happiness of loving kindness which it must bring. But at the same time, chastity is the sure way to happiness.” Chastity involves a humility of the body. Part of this humility is recognizing that we live with concupiscence through the consequences of original sin — that we have these negative tendencies and must work to counter them. Wojtyla writes that the “body” must show humility in the face of human happiness. Happiness is not just mere enjoyment, the sum of pleasures the body can bring to a relationship between a man and woman. Man and woman “can and must seek their temporal, earthly happiness in a lasting union which has an interpersonal character since it is based in each of them on unreserved affirmation of the value of the person.” If the body is not humble, then it can obscure the full truth about the happiness of man — obscure the vision of the ultimate happiness: the happiness of the human person in union with a personal God. This, says Wojtyla is how we should understand Christ’s words from the Sermon on the Mount: Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. “It should be added that the truth about the union of the human person with a personal God, which will be fully accomplished within the dimensions of eternity, at the same time illuminates more fully and makes plainer the value of human love, the value of the union of man and woman as two persons.” Marriage is a lasting union on earth to prepare ourselves for permanent union with God; in this way, marriage is the image of our relation with God.

LUST vs CHASTITY

While all capital sins are addictive or have addictive qualities, they also are a perversion of something good.

Lust is a perversion of love, in particular, it is a perversion of marital love.

Surprisingly, many believe that in marriage it is okay "to lust".  Outside of marriage lust is "bad", but within marriage it is "good".  This is not actually the case.

Lust is always an objectification of something. In marriage if one lusts after his/her spouse, he/she is looking at the other as on object of pleasure. It is an attitude of "what can you do for me" vs. "what can I do for you".

Love in marriage is always selfless.  It is a giving of oneself to another freely, and never "using" the other. Love is mutual expression. Lust is individual gratification.

New Advent, a Catholic encyclopedia, says this about lust: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09438a.htm
  

The wrongfulness of lust is reducible to this: that venereal satisfaction is sought for either outsidewedlock or, at any rate, in a manner which is contrary to the laws that govern marital intercourse. Every such criminal indulgence is a mortal sin, provided of course, it be voluntary in itself and fully deliberate. This is the testimony of St. Paul in the Epistle to the Galatians, v. 19:

"Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are fornication, uncleanness, immodesty, luxury, . . . Of the which I foretell you, as I have foretold to you, that they who do such things shall not obtain the kingdom of God."

Moreover, if it be true the gravity of the offences may be measured by the harm they work to the individual or the community, there can be no doubt that lust has in this respect a gravity all its own... Lust is said to be a capital sin. The reason is obvious. The pleasure which this vice has as its object is at once so attractive and connatural to human nature as to whet keenly a man's desire, and so lead him into the commission of many other disorders in the pursuit of it. Theologians ordinarily distinguish various forms of lust in so far as it is a consummated external sin, e.g., fornication, adultery, incest, criminal assault, abduction, and sodomy. Each of these has its own specific malice--a fact to borne in mind for purposes of safeguarding the integrity of sacramental confession.

Of chastity, the virtue opposed to this vice, New Advent says: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/03637d.htm

Chastity is the virtue which excludes or moderates the indulgence of the sexual appetite. It is a form of the  virtueof temperance, which controls according to right reason the desire for and use of those things which afford the greatest sensual pleasures...Under Christianity chastity has been practiced in a manner unknown under any other influence. Christian morality prescribes the right order of relations. It therefore must direct and control the manner of relationship sustained to each other by soul and body. Between these two there is an ineradicable opposition, the flesh with its concupiscences contending unceasingly against the spirit, blinding the latter and weaning it away from the pursuit of its true life. Harmony and due order between these two must prevail. But this means the pre-eminence and mastery of the spirit, which in turn can only mean the castigation of the body. The real as well as the etymological kinship between chastity and chastisement then is obvious. Necessarily, therefore, chastity is a thing stern and austere. The effect of the example as well as of the words of Our Saviour (Matthew 19:11-12) is seen in the lives of the many celibates and virgins who have graced the history of the Christian Church, while the idea of marriage as the sign and symbol of the ineffable union of Christ with His spotless spouse the Church — a union in which fidelity no less than love is mutual — has borne its fruit in beautifying the world with patterns of conjugal chastity.

Links to help the sexually addicted & to prevent sexual addiction in youth:

http://sexrespect.com/about.html

http://dads.org/article.asp?artId=237